Girl, trust me. you should hire a planner
Are you having mixed feelings about hiring a wedding planner? Unsure if it’s worth the expense? Well, great! You’re in the right place.
Don't worry! I'm not going to drown you in all the reasons why you need to hire By Love Events. While I 100% agree that you should (or any reputable planner), I really only want to give honest information to a bride in need. Information I wish I understood when I planned my own wedding. Not long ago I was where you are at this very moment. I was a little intimidated at the thought of putting on such a production, but excited because I had the "perfect pinterest board". I'd been secretly planning my wedding for the past 5 years, so the day after we actually got engaged, I was ready. I'd also had planned a few family and friends events previously, I was also the vacation planner of the group, so I knew I was a "naturally great planner", and I thought I could figure out what I needed.
THE WHOLE TRUTH
The best planners are constantly evolving and searching for opportunities to perfect their crafts. Now that I'm a part of this industry, I love immersing myself in the specifics of wedding planning, researching new ideas, and learning how to better my business for my clients. While I’ve always been overly organized and smiled at the thought of making lists, I wasn't prepared for what was involved with planning my OWN wedding. The bride experience is something you deserve to spend time enjoying.
you don’t know what you don’t know
In the beginning, I wasn't aware of the current wedding trends nor did I know anything about venue flips or what needed to happen behind the scenes to execute my dream. I mainly focused on prowling Pinterest for the PERFECT photo combination, finding the wedding dress of my dreams, and googling possible destinations for my bachelorette party. I didn't give my budget much thought because I thought I knew how much I would spend; but realistically I knew nothing. I also already had my dream venue picked out, despite never visiting, so in my head I was 100% ready.
MY DREAM VENUE … OR WAS IT
Although I had the required venue deposit on hand, there was so much for me to learn. After our actual venue tour, I became overwhelmed by the logistics required to execute a wedding. I quickly realized my dream venue may not work. The rate listed online was to only reserve one room, they also didn't provide any assistance so I would need to hire someone to flip my ceremony into a reception. The ultimate reality check was when I learned the venue only provided banquet chairs, and not the Chiavari chairs I saw in the photos online. What originally felt easy was immediately stressful - but I knew renting chairs was an option and decided I could always ask my cousin (who frequently planned her sorority events and conferences) for help along the way.
Well, six months into planning and two catering tastings later, I had enough! I realized I could only invite 100 of the 200 people on my guest list and that we not only had to rent chairs, but flatware, and plates too; Initially, I assumed the caterer or the venue included these as a courtesy. I was officially dealing with real wedding woes, but still had to work, take classes, please our parents, meal prep, and be a great fiancé. I was exhausted! I wanted the perfect wedding but increasing our already increased budget was no longer an option and I couldn't fathom the idea of reducing our guest list or changing venues. My dream of a 2017 Instagram Blog feature was vanishing before my eyes and for some strange reason, I decided to buy my wedding dress a size too small. - Crazy, lol.
LET’S JUST ELOPE…
"Maybe we should just elope." We've all had or may have this thought at some point during the planning process. Truthfully, I wanted the wedding and the experiences that came with that so that thought was just that.
Eventually, I gave in to the thought of modifying my venue. My in-laws were never excited about traveling 75 mins to my dream location and I couldn’t figure out how to make my budget work in the space. Plus my cousin was genuinely busy with her own life so time was passing me by.
I had so much to do, and what seemed like two days to do it. I couldn't find the perfect shoes, two of my bridesmaids had yet to order their dresses, one of my friends could no longer be in the wedding, and my relationship with my best friend was on the rocks. I'd lost two bridesmaids in a week (still friends, life just happened), and still had to pick out wedding invitations!!!
but we do have the venue planner..
I also finally gave into the thought of hiring a planner and met with someone amazing, who made me feel great and excited, until I received her quote for services. "Whoa!" Similar to many, I was shocked. I knew it would cost but I didn't know exactly how much. At this point, we’d been planning for almost a year and I really couldn’t fathom decreasing anything I had planned so I ultimately decided to pass. I was creative enough to come up with my own decor options, but again I didn’t understand the logistics nor did I have any experience with the vendors I was considering. At the time, I didn't understand the role of a wedding planner and how much her representation would help me. I only saw that her services didn't fit into my ideal budget, not knowing the amount of money and TIME she would've ultimately saved me. I really should’ve hired her in the very beginning.
Finally down to the last 30 days and my venue “planner” finally began getting involved, but only to finalize my tasting and schedule a vendor walk through. Venue coordinators work for the VENUE, very few have time to help you along the way with planning - I didn’t know until it was too late. It's a myth that you don't need a planner if your venue has a coordinator!
the BEGINNING OF THE bride meltdown
The countdown was real, like 14 days, 3 hours, 36 minutes, and 45 seconds real. I realized my perfectly planned day may be rained out and I was officially losing it. I only semi-developed an alternative plan because I just "knew" everything would be fine. I didn’t love the outdoor rain plan my venue offered and didn’t have the time to re-imagine and walk my venue coordinator through another plan. On top of this all, I was terrified my wedding dress wouldn't arrive on time. I was receiving the run around from the bridal salon, and later found out they were suddenly closing!! Thankfully I was able to get my dress a few days before my wedding, just in time to receive minor alterations.
It was finally wedding day, I was fresh faced with no sleep from the night before and as we were getting closer - things were not perfect. Vendors were not on time and my photographer had just arrived. I picked over my lunch that I planned out two months before, I was too anxious to eat. I also couldn't stop checking the weather. I thought "it's too cold for my guests", "the grass may still be wet". With just two hours left to ceremony my venue needed a decision on my rain plan and I obliged with their recommendation (felt easier and I didn’t want to inconvenience anyone) but thirty minutes after that with tears falling from my eyes, I changed my mind. #Girlboss was having a breakdown. My maid of honor, with tissue in hand, came to comfort me. My grandmother, cousin, and venue coordinator came as well. I was full blown bawling on the beautiful balcony of an estate because of wet grass! It was official, I was a #bridezilla.
Ultimately, after some prayer - my day turned out beautiful! Other than my meltdown, I kept my cool. I was able to pull off my wedding but I will 100% say that if I hired a planner it would’ve been an even better experience. I was knowledgeable of schedules and timelines, but if I hired a planner I would've had time to practice my dances, remember to write thank you speeches, order bridesmaid gifts on time, get my eyebrows done (- yeah) , get my bra out of the dryer, and make sure that my DJ used a black tablecloth instead of the white that showed all his wires! Not to mention, the vendors I hired would’ve been held accountable for what they didn’t provide and I would’ve been able to just focus on the fact that I was actually getting married. Your wedding is a once in a lifetime experience, that you deserve to be fully present for.
Personally, If I had to do it any other way, I would make the investment and simply hire a wedding planner. The stress-free experience is worth every single penny. Are you currently planning your own wedding? If so, feel free to comment about your experience below!